| Happy days are here at last....... | ||||
| 10:43am 30/08/2006 | ||||
I got lost the other day in school. It was funny. I ended up in middle of nowhere on the 3rd floor! LOL how that happens don't ask me. But it was funny. I could either go out into an elevator lobby or Back downstairs.. lol that was about it. So I opted for the stairs. But yeah it was funny. I met with Val for lunch yesterda it was cool then she went back to school and waited for me to be done and then we went home together.. haha Swiss is Best! LOL!! Oh and we didn't have to pay for the ride home cause of traffic or something that was nice. Today I'm here until 5. Ed is done at 5 too so I'm gonna stick around and we'll go home together.. SO that'll be cool.. I hate these keyboards.. and to think I'm going to have to deal with them for the time being.. the V doesn't want to work at all lol so Val almost became al hahaha.. but yeah. 2 more classes to go and that's really about it. Then tomorrow I have 2 classes and I'm done until tuesday! Woot Woot. ALrighty folks.. Later Dayz and all that good stuff.. Stay Tuned for the JOEfish Blog.... ~STITCH!~ |
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tired
cold| There's only one person in the world.... | ||||
| 11:03pm 29/07/2006 | ||||
It’s been about a year now, and I’ve been feeling differently about everything. There are things that just have made me feel distant. I’ve been so distant that I don’t care about anything anymore. I don’t want to finish school; I don’t even want to go to school in general. This summer has sucked for work. I just haven’t enjoyed myself this summer, it’s been too crazy. Too much rushing. Too much work. I just don’t enjoy it. I have been having days, weeks, months of just feeling distant and I don’t know what the hell is causing it. I can only name a few things that it could possible be, but I don’t know for sure. Could it be that I don’t have a significant other? Could it be that I have basically been doing the same thing every single week for the past year and a half? Could it be that things at home aren’t the best? Could it be that I only have two friends? Does me only have two friends even matter? Shouldn’t I be happy that I have 2 friends that really care about me, that care how I feel, that care about how things are in general with anything about me? Am I being selfish just caring about myself? I still care about other people. My friends, my family, people in general… but at the same time, I just don’t know what I care about. I’m so confused anymore, about everything. I don’t know what they hell I am. I need to figure out who I am, and what I want out of life, but I don’t know how to do that. How do you decide who you are? How do you decide what to do with your life? Is there anyway of knowing what to do? It’s just so frustrating to me that I don’t feel like I truly belong anymore. I don’t have a care in the world much anymore. And without caring, that just means that I’m lost. And being lost.. isn’t fun, it’s not grand, it’s just nothing. It’s me lost in the city, the suburbs, the world and I have no one I can turn to. No matter how many friends I have, no matter how much family cares, no matter how many in my life that care about me… I’m lost and have no one to help me, no one to guide me through life, no one to decide anything for me. I am all I have and that’s all there is. Just me and the world and we’re about to go head to head… |
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Distant| Tired of Life | ||||
| 10:29pm 22/07/2006 | ||||
Things couldn't be more complicated right now. Well.. ok they could, but let me just say I'm glad their not. Cuase i don't think i could handle much more complications. I'm supposed to be moving out next week, but at this point I have no idea what's going on. I want to get the hell out of this house, but at the same time i don't think i can afford it. Along with not affording it, I don't think I'm ready to move out. I mean I've done it before.. I lived away in Altoona for 3 years, but that was different. It was school, I always came back. I always had 3 months for the summer to be home without having to worry about paying for living. I always had loans and shit to pay for my apt or dorm room. I never had to pay for tuition. I didn't have to try to survive completely on my own. I just.. can't afford moving out of my house right now.. no matter how much things have hit the fan around here. I mean things aren't as bad as they once were here.. but they are good now.. at least better than they were.. So yeah.. I just don't know if I can move out.. not to the place we are planning to anyway..If i could find a nice place to move into by myself for now.. that would be great.. hell i'd take a nice 2BR with Val if it were good enough in price.. it's not that I don't want to move out.. its just that i can't afford it right now.. I don't have the money in my pocket.. in my bank account and come the end of august i won't have an income at all unless i can start finding something now.. which is so hard to do while working 5 days a week during the day.... In other news... I'm going to go crazy... I need something more in my life. Something different.. something.. maybe someone that will make me happy. I'm always down and hardly happy. I'm don't have as many good days as i once had and I don't know where they went.. over the years I've just lost them. Things are just falling into a shit hole.. and i feel like I'm older than I am.. because I have been through more than my share of shit since I've been out of high school.. sure other people have been through theirs too and probably even more than I've been through but that doesn't mean that i haven't been through it too. I'm never excited about anything. I do things with friends and i'm like.. yep.. just another day.. and that should be. I should be excited to hang out with friends. but I just can't be. Ed has done nothing but piss me off as of late. What grinds my gears most is when he puts fucking time constraints on our hang out time. Like today for instance. I text him at like 2:30 or something and at 3 he messages me back and says that he doesn't know what's going on today.. what could we do for 2 hours... cause kristi was coming hom tonight.. i guess at 5.. and i said idk.. guess i'll see him next week.. and he said we could go up the street and so i was pissed already anyway.. cause of the 2 hour rule.. so i told him that it was the best plan in the world so he knew i was pissed and i think i pissed him off to cause he goes "what the hell what did i do?" so i said nothing and nevermind and haven't heard from him since.. so yeah. that's not the first time he put the time constraints on our hanging out either.. he does it all the time so he can go see kristi.. so fuck that.. He's been totally different since kristi came along.. but then again he's different when he's got a girl in general.. its all about being with her 24/7.. who wants to be with someone for 24/7.. i mean that's just.. gay.. he's to dependent on her love.... he once told me that the only people he really cares about in the world are her and me and that he wouldn't know what to do if he lost either one of us.. so i think I may just vanish for a month or so and see what's up.. I just need to get away from my responsibilities. I need a week off of everything. No work. No school shit. No friends. No being here...Just nothing... Any ideas how i can do that? cause i have no idea... well that's all for now.. that's a bit of what's bothering me.. so yeah.. later |
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frustrated| been awhile.. now you know why | ||||
| 08:00pm 10/07/2006 | ||||
So I get a thing in the mail for an education loan that doesn't have to go through the school and everthing.. awesome right?.. .wrong. I talked to my mom about it and she was telling me that it was a bad idea.. oh.. well my idea was to get like 20-40 thousand and pay off all of my current loans and then have money saved to pay for things while i'm in school.. and I'll get a job at the same time so I can start the repayment of that loan when i have to. Which by the way WILL be deffered till i'm out of school. So yeah I woule LOVE to be able to do that. and I'd have some money left over to purchase a new computer too! which i'm about depserate need for.. cause this one is 3 years old and it's starting to act up yet again.. Gah! I'm just feeling to stressed now. I just don't know how much more i can take before I burst.. so yeay... i'm gonna get goin now cause I just blah... |
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stressed| And then my 3 year journey comes to an end. | ||||
| 10:48am 30/04/2006 | ||||
My world is spinning into a chaotic slumber. Now I have to spend at home the summer. I go away to Point Park in Fall, if I can make it after all. I know that i am rhyming and i really don't know why, All i can say is time really does fly. I sit here alone.. thinking about tomorrow and await my carriage to take me home. Ok.. Sorry I went all Dr. Seuss on you there.. but it was actually fun.. But everything I said was true even if it did rhyme.. But yes.. I don't want to leave my new found friends, and I don't wanna go home to what is waiting for me, however.. At the same time, Ed and Val are waitng for me and A lot of fun we will have!! For them and My Mom alone am I happy to be going, and honestly that's enough for me. I hope to have a great summer even with the things going on.. We all have to go to kennywood cause it's been to long!!!! and Val you will have to get a hug from me so I can Burp you again!!! Lamo! Good Times Good Times Thank you Mike for all of the great memories last year.. and the ones the year before. They are certainly worth a lifetime. Ha-Cha! That poor wall! My mom didn't even know about it... I just told her the other day and she was like "You did what? How?" LOL so i had to tell her.. talk about feeling like an Ass!! What a great time Apt 27 was!! I'll never forget it. And it will certainly be missed. ALL of it... The wobbly shelves in the living room, the old 70s wooden furniture, the Magic Oven, the wall I broke but is patched up but you can still tell it was broke, The smoke detector that goes off when you make pizza rolls or have the oven past 400 degrees, the hair painted to the ceiling in the bathroom, the way the water likes to never stay at one temperature.. either too hot or too cold most of the time and one smidge of a turn and it's fine again, The "exit" sign in my room on the wall by the door.. that somehow was painted over.. it's like glue bubbles spelling Exit, and of course who can forget the chair that I bent so much that it feels like you're going down when you sit on it! lol.. Well Mom is here so Later Days!! |
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anxious| night of bowling fun.. too bad break is over in 2 days | ||||
| 03:32am 11/03/2006 | ||||
<,< J >,> |
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chipper| 09:41pm 01/03/2006 | ||||
Let's just go back to me working on the Women's Studies Website. It's up and has since been slightly changed from what i turned in, however www.aa.psu.edu/women is the website if you'd like to check it out. I work, as you should all know by now, for a Professor, Dr. Roselyn Costantino, who is a spanish professor but is also, basically the leader of the Women's Studies Program here on the Altoona Campus. For the past 3 years now I've worked with to to accomplish a lot (Yes i've realized i went from going back a couple of weeks to 3 years.. bare with me people) We've put together in the first 2 years, two very nice receptions for Women's history month, which is March. It's just gotten bigger and for the past couple weeks it's been crazy work to get everything done. We managed to get to today. Pretty much everything was in order. Roselyn was going to come in early today so she could start working on things. Well it was 3pm today.. and she still hadn't left state college.... there was A LOT to get done before the fiesta if you will.. began and I pretty much had to get it all done without any assistance.. which is amazing and i think i did fairly well with taking charge of things that needed done. I felt so special though.... Roselyn called me this morning and i didn't answer my phone per usual... mainly cause i didn't recognize the number.. but anyway.. she leaves me a voicemail.. and mike you'll get a kick out of this one.... roselyn goes "Hi Joe, it's Roselyn, I'm not sure if you left your apartment there at Nittany Pointe but if you haven't could you pick up a packet of papers for me from Debbie Love, if you can't do it, then i'll have to try to swing up there sometime to get them. I just figured since you live up there you could get them before coming down today. Thanks." Ok.. well now.. for those of you who don't know.. I don't live up at Nittany Pointe.. I live in the exact opposite of that.. I live in Wehnwood.... so yeah.. i was like.. "Sorry can't happen!" to myself.. well.. at 3 after my class.. i found out i was still going to have to get a way up there and get that packet... So Thankfully this girl that i've gotten to know over the past semester Shannon was there and offered me a ride up to Nittany Pointe! So thankful for that. So we get up there and I have to show ID to get this packet because NO ONE on campus knew what they were. It was this huge secret that no one knew... but she did tell me that she'd tell me when she saw me.... so yeah.. i get those and come back.. and I was Special enough to be able to use the Staff Assistants computer.. they are all password protected and stuff.. and Jenn my dear friend that's the staff assistant gave me the password to her computer! I mean.. wow....I've only known Jenn now since September and she trusted me enough to let me have her password... Granted i practically go in every single day and sit with her talk to her when i'm working or on a break... so i got to work on her computer to make a sign that i made yesterday but gave to roselyn to fix.. but because she wasn't there.. i had to refo it so we could have the posters for the Silent Auction that we were having tonight.. after that i had to run up to Smith.. most of you have no idea what i'm talking about.. but anyway..Smith is a building.. where our Registrar is and stuff.. well i had to go up there to get these normal sized pieces of paper made into a large 11x17 sheet of paper.... so i did that then went back to Hawthorn.. the building i always work at and continue to work on things.. at 4 i had to go upstairs to see Molly.. another great person that i've gotten to know and work with the past 3 years.. she too is a Staff Assistant... and we got the shrimp and cheese together and took it over to CAC lol all of these buildings.. which is where the party was.... so i was running back and forth between the 2 buildings trying to get things together.. thankfully they are only right across from each other.. but still like a minute or so walk in between.. .. on my way over the first time.. Roselyn is there.. so we meet up and then everything begins.. everythings going up.. boxes getting carried everywhere... things moving around.. everything gets put together and viola.. we have ourselves a bash.. I worked the welcoming table with Molly handing out name tags and stuff..... Oh I forgot the most important part.. staring about a week ago.. I was invited to this dinner, then uninvited, then invited, then uninvited, and finally i was invited... it was funny, because it wasn't a big deal for me to be there, but since i did all of the work that i've done... Roselyn really wanted me there. so it was nice that i could stay.. we were only supposed to have 65 people max show up... we thought we'd get 40-50 guests... turned out.. we had 91 people RSVP and about 84 showed up... Big time party.. it was very nice.. Food was pretty good.. wasn't fond of the salad, but i tried asparagus for the first time tonight and i have to say.. NOT bad... not bad at all.. Everything went off without a hitch and things were great.. food was good... everyone had a chair and a place to eat.. and it was great.. Roselyn got up and thanked everyone for being there.. and then she introduced the Chancelor(Sp?) which spoke then her and Lee Ann surprised Roselyn with some flowers and a Feminist Shirt.. that said something along the lines of.. Proper, quiet women don't get recognized" that's way off... but something like that.. then they gave out awards to Achieving young women.. and then She thanked me! and had me stand up.. it wasn't something i was expecting.. i mean.. i was sorta expecting it.. cause i wasn't thanked last year... and this is my last semester up here and everything.. and she said "I would like to thank a person that without, a lot of this wouldn't have gotten done... my Friend and Workstudy for the last 3 years..." and i was all.. Awwwww haha.. it was great.... Fabulous night.. and here i am wasting the time i was gonna spend writing a paper for friday.. typing this out.. lol.. silly me.. just wanted to get all that out.. it was great!! Super Glad everything worked out.. unfortunately and she doesn't know it yet.. i ripped the poster .. just a bit.. but i did.. and that's not good lol she didn't see it yet.. but she will soon enough.. and i'll have to take the blame.. :\ maybe she won't notice til i'm gone ::Crosses fingers:: Well yeah.. that's about it.. now my 5-6 page paper.. i just need to extend what i already have as a draft 2 more pages and i'll be fine.. but yeah.. .. Friday is the Beginning of Spring Break and i can't WAIT to get the hell out of here!!! Well that's enough for tonight.. Later Dayz Aloha Cousins! ~Stitch!~ |
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loved| ..........WAAAHHHH HHAAAAAAAAA..... | ||||
| 11:23pm 30/01/2006 | ||||
BAYOU!!!!! |
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hyper| huh... | ||||||||||
| 08:32am 23/01/2006 | ||||||||||
That's new... |
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| Yes.. My computer has returned | ||||
| 10:51pm 21/01/2006 | ||||
J |
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happy| PS | |||
| 05:55pm 07/01/2006 | |||
| I will be away from a computer after tonight for probably a week or more.. so never fear i will return.. i go back to school in the morning and without my computer. I have to wait to get it back before i will be able to get online again.. Just to let you all know.. | |||
| Sorry everyone.. I need to rant.. | ||||
| 11:46pm 06/01/2006 | ||||
So.. Break.. Some liked it.. some thought it was good.. and others completely hated it.. Everyone has their own opinion.. Well my break.. now that I think about it.. well.. it was ok... It had it's crap ass moments.. and it had it's octane high-speed police chase moments.. not that the police chased me at any time throughout the break.. but that would have been cool if they did!.. So yes.. I've already bored you with most of those moments.. up to i believe.. Monday or something like that.. so i'm not going to recap.. so stop reading now and say allowed.. "Oh Thank God" cause you don't have to listen to my ramblings on about things you've already heard... However.. I bring you.. 2005.. a year in Review.. Bwahahaha.. ::cough cough:: I appologize.. but it's a must.. i need it. and i'm sure you'll all totally enjoy it too... maybe.. if not.. then just comment me and be like.. WHY CAN'T YOU EVER JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!?? Ok.. so.. January - May 2005.... ALL in all.. not a total loss.. but still.. not the best of times either.. JANUARY: January 2nd 2005 (and no i'm not going by dates.. this is just a day that sticks in my head..) Bowling with the Gang.. We actually went on New Years Day.. but it turned out to be the 2nd soon after we got there.... I worked up the courage.. finally after a year and 4 months worth of holding it in.. to ask a certain someone out.. Turns out.... as you all know.. Didn't happen.. Thing number 1 in 2005 to make me down and out.. Hurt like hell to be told "I just don't know right now" and that basically.. "Sorry.. I liked you.. but now i like someone else.. so we will never work" And I will state right now.. that If feelings are hurt during this post in any way shape or form.. that I AM sorry.. but then.. imagine how I felt.. Back to school January: Back in Altoona.. Mike is my roommate.. good times were had.. probably one of my better semesters at school.. I have an awesome class! I meet one awesome person who i end up talking to for the rest of the semester.. Great Times.. Then.. Scary girl from across the room looks at me.. and stares at me throughout the class.. I freak out.. girl isn't exactly what i'm looking for in a well. girl.. But things are cool.. never make contact with girl... FEBRUARY: Another fine month..not a lot going one.. Still enjoying Mike as a roommate.. never better.. Smash Bros.. probably every single day.. not to mention Alias! OMG Alias! Marathon days of nothing but fun.. good times to be had.. and were had.. totally.. MARCH: It's March.. time to come home to spring Break.. I don't really remember what happens during spring break.. but i'm sure it was some fun.. or something.. March Doesn't stick in my brain much.. I know. that somewhere between here and january.. or maybe sooner or later.. Diana Breaks up with Ed... I don't remember when it happened.. but i remember it happening.. Life gets hectic.. Always worrying about what a friend might do... not exactly fun.. and nerve-racking at the same time.. Help him get out of the hole he dug himself after Diana left him... Still Great Times at the Apartment.. this is probably about the time that I "HA-CHA"ed into the wall.. lol or in the next month APRIL: Again not sure what goes on in April.. I believe it is however... when Creepy girl from class messages me for the first time.. I freak out.. go crazy and die.. ok that didn't happen.. but she does message me.. she gets to know me and basically wants to go out.. i told her that i wasn't looking for a relationship because .. truth be told I wasn't at that time. As harsh as January second was.. I have to say.. I still wasn't giving up..... I start to hang out with creepy girl.. go out to see Sin City and hang at the mall before hand.. grab a bite to eat.... She asks "What is this between us?" i say.. "We are friends.. that's it" I swear that doesn't sink in.. we hang out a couple more times.. actually maybe only 1 more time.. i don't remember.. i blocked it out of my head.. April ends with me wanting Summer so badly!! Still great times at the Apartment.. Smash Bros.. is a constant everyday thing.. MAY: Finally.. May is here.. finals are taken and over with.. Home Sweet Home.. I start working again at Kuhn's.. but at the same time.. Apply for a new Job.. working as Summer Help for one of the Schools. I get a decline letter from the school saying I didn't get the job.. i was bummed.. continued working for Kuhn's.. Not a week later I get a call from the school.. Saying there is 1 position available.. that i have to call ASAP.. i call them soon as i finish working that day.. get a hold of the lady.. she puts me on the special board meeting agenda.. I am able to start working for them whenever I contact Mike Conway at Bellevue.. Get in contact with Mike.. I start.. May 20th-ish.. somewhere in that time frame... When i first get word from Mike about the job.. i tell kuhn's i need like a week off.. they give me the Ok.. so i go for the job.. I go back the next week to kuhn's to find out that I'm not on the schedule anymore.. I sorta question things.. but not really worried about it... I go back 2 weeks later.. still not on the schedule.. Ok.. a little Ticked off.. but still not to worried about it.. go back after 3 weeks and I'm still not on the schedule.. I question the office on it.. Am told that i have to talk to the Fucking Manager before I get put back on the schedule again.. I say "Fuck That!" and Quit.... The same time.. Ed and Kristi sorta started to see each other then.. we saw Star Wars Ep 3.. Great times to be had there! Summer does start off pretty good friend wise.. I believe we did go bowling.. Ed and his friends.. and Me.. of course and John.. and also there was a day that Ed me and Brittany hung out and we ended up doing stuff with Dan, Mike and Jeff.. We ended up playing Frisbee and such after doing a day at the mall.. an awesome day.. probably the best day of the entire summer! Now.. I go into June, July, and August.. JUNE: Firstly.. Batman Begins comes out.. and OMG Best Film ever!! I loved it to Death.. I know there are a good bit of haters out there in the world.. but i love it.. and that's all i care about.. if you hated it.. then that's totally on you! Ed.. is finally Happy again.. He and Kristi start to go out on the 5th.. that makes me happy.. and yet.. very perterbed (so not the right spelling) at the same time.. I am happy when my friends are happy.. honest.. I'm glad that they can be excited and happy feeling.. that's fantastic.. but Girlfriends and ed.. just never mixed.. he always changes.. and that's a good thing.. cause yes.. he should spend more time with her.. and no there isn't anything the matter with that.. and that's all super duper great.. but I get so fucking Jealous because I want to spend more time with him.. I hate sitting at home and not having anyone to do anything with.. or just not having anything to do.. and it was sorta ok most of the time this summer but at the same time it wasn't.. i mean i worked from 6 AM til 3 PM every single day.. so i was often tried enouhg just not to care but still i was very jealous at times and i know that i shouldn't have been because.. well.. yeah.. duh.. i'm just the friend in this case.. not the lover.. no the other.. just a friend.. and that's just stupid for me to be jealous of something so stupid!!!! but it happens.. and i know.. but still.. haha.. i could just keep making up fucking excuses.. so i'm just going to leave it .. and be done with it.. for now.. but this jealousy thing pops up.. for most of the rest of the time.. JULY: Start hanging out with Lauren a little more.. I seen her at her Graduation party.. and i know it was either July or June.. but i know that i went and we had some fun.. then also we made plans to go see Batman Begins and stuff.. so we end up going to see it with her Dad and Brother and others.. can't exactly remember who they were being that i had just met them for the first time that night.. haha... but yes. we went to see batman begins.. it was a good time.. i recall going to Subway before going to see the movie..just her and I cause we were both hungry.. and i had tried to order a 12 foot Sub.. LOL.. my bad.. but yes.. it was good times.. after the movie we just went home..but yeah it was a good time.. we did some other stoofs too.. like hanging out and stuff. i think.. i could totally be making that up.. but i think we went to EnP 1 or more times with Val.. but i don't really recall what went down.. My cousin and I went to see Fantastic Four.. turns out to be a pretty decent movie and jessica alba gets down to her bra and panties.. hehe.. as well does Chris Evans get down to a pink coat wrapped around his region.. haha.. but anyway..we had a good catching up session my cousin and i .. some good times.. Also i start to spend more time with My cousin Amanda.. I love that girl to death she is my little sister.. Her I and Ed hang out 2 times throughout the summer... the first being.. the infamous scary trip to the mall.. haha.. good times to be had.. and were had.. cause they alrady happened.. but still.. good times.. yes.. and also the other time we went to a street fair up by my aunts house.. cherrycity i believe is the name.. it's between millvale and etna.. we stay there for moments then went goofy golfin out north park.. good fun awesome times.. another great summer day.. Ed Kristi and I end up going back out to golf again.. only that day we did both courses and had another great day.. good times... and to finish the month off we went to see March of the Penguins.. good movie.. but it should have just been put straight to TV.. not special enough to be "THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR" as told by Morgan Freeman.. Oh and also.. I took a day trip to Altoona by myself.. for the first time alone on the train and PAT buses.. turns out to be a good trip.. nice ride there.. early in the morning. and then i spend i nice afternoon in altoona after going into my apartment and seeing it a MESS.. realizing i'm gonna live with a slob.. never meet my roommate.. eat and get back downtown in time to catch the train out of town.. have a very nice talk with a lady on the train.. and had a good time.. get home around 8 at night.... all for my social security card and birth certificate.. which if you asked me now where they were.. i have no idea.. i need to keep track of those.. haha.. but yes.. i got them to get my permit this past summer.. but never did that.. AUGUST: My last few weeks home..work still going strong.. not too bad actually enjoying it.. and yet i didn't ever want to see another floor scrubber ever again.. haha.. too many tile floors that need super cleaned in a school like that.. but fun nonetheless... Notice.. I only mention John once in the 4 months that I was home for break.. we didn't hang out or talk much at all throughout the break.. our friendship completely fell apart.. apparently. as i find out in one of the first weeks of the month.. or perhaps somewhere at the end of the last month i find out that we were both mad at the other one.. and well yeah.. We finally meet up after all of these long months.. and discuss our issues.. we spend maybe 45 minutes talking.. and still everythinw was not said.. i found out what was the matter with him.. but i never got to really say anything back to him.. but yeah.. problem solved.. we aren't really friends anymore.. SO i lose.. yet.. ANOTHER friend.. I seem to do that well.. i've lost friends a lot over the years... hmm.. is it me? or them? who knows.. i don't.. that's for sure.. Enjoy a nice day with LILO FRIEND!! =D and her mom.. we go out and see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Awesome day.. enjoyed it greatly! =D Finish up work.. enjoy the last few weeks i'm home.. do stuff with whoever i can.. Get back to school... the first day.. things are great.. and they stay that way.. Shawn and I got along great.. no problems whatsoever.. granted he was messier than me.. but i'm a freakin neat freak sometimes.. but not always.. Now to finish off the year.. we're almost there.. i promise... SEPTEMBER: I lose my mind.. I go crazy and basically have no clue what the Hell anything means anymore.. Teaching turns out to be another slap in the face.. as did.. Teaching Highschool and Directing Movies.. I fall far from everything..all the while staying on top of things.. I completely don't know what i wanna do with my future.. I decide that I'll try cooking school.. but not to cook.. no no.. to do restaurant management.. something i could do at penn state if i wanted.. and i still insist. that I come home to finish my schooling.. this lasts until i make an appointment with the school for October do i realize that Culinary is shit and i want nothing to do with it.. I go crazy again.. trying to find out what i want to do with my life.. I look into going to school at Point Park.. but am told that it's stupid to transfer there to be a teacher.. at which i said.. i don't want to be a teacher.. and granted it costs more to go to school there.. it's the same to live and go to school in altoona.. as it would be for me to live here at home and go to school at Point Park.. so i decide finally.. Journalism I loved the yearbook which to a degree is journalism.. just of a different taste.. I apply there.. and that's that.. Also i came home for Ed's birthday and he had a bowling party.. good times..and yes i like saying that.. sorry.. i just keep using it.. but they were good times.. OCTOBER: I plan to surprise my mom for her and my birthday.. being the second or third week in october.. later i have to ruin the plans for a surprise.. all the while it was still a surprise..she wanted to come up and surprise me for my birthday.. so i come home.. first day home.. i go to the Homecoming game with Mike.. supposed to meet ed.. but when i get there.. he's nowhere.. and i was told he was inside already.. so i started the night pretty pissed off.. haha.. nothing new there.. so mike and i are hanging out.. good times.. we see Bridget and then Alyssa.. and the four us end up spending most of the night together.. see a million people that i miss and others that i was just starting to get to know others.. Ends up.. being just me and mike and bridgy and alyssa.. we went to Bridgets for some fun.. talked about Bridget's Nub for hair.. lmao.. and had an awesome night by the fire.. before that we went to Arby's and ate then went to bridgets lol.. but yeah.. good times.. we were there for a couple hours just talking and catching up.. very nice.. and awesome.. totally enjoyed that night.. especially when mike took bridgets license to take a picture of it.. that's when it became real fun cause mike was running away and i was holding bridget captive so she couldn't get to mike and alyssa was trying to help mike get the picture.. haha.. awesome! Spent time with my mom.. we went to lunch with my aunt and grandma.. had a very nice time.. spent some great quality time with my mom and stuff.. it was all very nice.. and i think i was home for like 5 days.. lol.. i came home on a thrusday i think and was home til tuesday i think that's 6.. but the day i came in and the day i leave don't really count.. so it was like 4 days actually lol.. The rest of October goes by.. nothin to great.. just more days.. NOVEMBER: Not a lot for november.. (thankfully i know you are all saying.. and if i had cookies you could all have 5 by the time you finish reading this.. or as many as you want.. cause i know its long) Came home for the holiday.. fucking bored as hell the whole time. i think i went to ENP with Val once.. and we watched Devil's Rejects and AVP that was a good night.. then i think i hung out with ed.. like.. once.. and i spent the rest of the week alone..doing nothing.. I think i did more with ed.. but only enough to constitute hanging out once.. lol.. went back to school and yeah.. that was that.. DECEMBER: Finished Classes.. and well yeah.. they were done.. came home on like the 17th haven't really been home much.. i think i've spent maybe 4 or 5 days doing nothing... which doesn't really phase me much.. Spent some great times shopping with my Cousin Amanda!! and some good times with Ed and Kristi.. and some with just Ed.. and a couple times with Val.. once with val and grim.. The Holiday was great too.. Christmas wasn't too great nor was it awful.. but it could have been better.. Now it is January.. 7th technically.. and Things haven't started off terrible.. so far.. WEnt to See King Kong.. on the 2nd.. and had a great time..awesome movie and everything.. and well.. I just want 06 to be much better than 05.. i need it..and I think I Deserver it! That's it.. i'm all tapped out.. my brain hurts for thinking about an entire year.. Later Dayz! ~Stitch!~ JOE JJ STITCH FRIEND TRiCK! |
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Here..| And me.. I want.. a HU-LA-Hoop! | ||||
| 10:05pm 02/01/2006 | ||||
Friday was supposed to be a day for me and ed to hangout and finish our shopping..but it turned out that it was... Kristi, Lynn, and Joe.. and Me and Ed... we went first to Walmart out in Cranberry.. and i got a superman cape and 2 boxes of chocolate covered cherries.. one each for my other 2 aunts..and a pair a sunglasses.. then we went over to Toys R Us.. well.. Ed and I did.. the others went to Best Buy.. ed and i were being good little bad kids.... we found Marvel Legends out there .. and they had the whole series for the Sentinel so i finished my collection and ed got Sinister for himself and a couple others for his dad.. then we went to look for uno cards.. cause he wanted to get Kristi some.. but they didn't have a good selection.. so we go to the checkout and i found some "sour" warhead fruit roll up things.. and we paid and left.. we dropped our stuff off at the car then went to Best Buy out there.. we walk in there.. and it felt like some secret headquarters.. it was all amazing and stuff.. haha... so yeah.. we are walking thru and i found the super Sin City DVD and I had to have it.. but i wanted like a million more DVDs out there... so i carry it around with me.. and i start picking out different movies i want so ed could get me something.. and i remind him he owes me for my bday... so he ends up getting me .. Ghostbusters.. 1 and 2 for my bday.. and then even tho i wasn't really supposed to know.. he got me Serenity for Christmas...oh so.. we go to check out.. and we get seperated like.. and i go to pay for my dvd.. after calling my mom to reassure myself that she didnt' get it for me for christmas.. so i'm at the checkout and this old lady behind me.. like.. accidentally barely pushes her cart into me.. and she's all appologetic like "I DIDN'T MEAN TOO I'M SORRY I TRIED NOT TO DO THAT" and so i just told her that it was ok and that I was made of steel.. haha.. she was a nice old lady tho.. so i wished her a Merry Christmas and was on my way.. OH! and Ed tripped over a cart in there too.. Hahaha they have like weird carts.. the bottoms are super long and the cart part is really short.. so he didn't see the bottom part and tripped over it.. good times!! so then we met up with the rest of everyone in Barnes and Noble.. and then we went to the car and were on our way to the mall... we got to Mcknight by just staying on Route 19 all the way in.. which was a smart thing on my part..we his some traffic but it wasn't bad.. and it was better than back tracking.. when we hit mcknight rode.. it hurt.. no.. it was packed.. we spent like 45minutes to an hour or soemthing like that just trying to get up to the mall.. we tried to squeeze over to the turning lanes by Bed Bath and Beyond.. but no one was letting us over.. so we went to the next light by the EnP and it look like 10 lights before we got to the intersection and another one for us to get up to the mall.. the mall was packed.. but someone backed out of a spot just as we got there.. the others went to eat.. and ed and i went to look for the uno cards and stuff..He was annoyed so it was good to be just him and me.. we went to Media Play then KB toys then to the little game stand in the mall.. and finally got the uno cards.. then he and i went up to eat.. and then we met everyone and were out of the mall.. after i got a BerryBlast.. or whatever its called up there at the orange julius.. went to his house for a little.. just him and me.. then i came home.. Woke up at 10 or so on Christmas Eve Morning.. and my mom was about to leave to head back out to the mall.. cause she had to get my dad something.. so our first stop was Sears.. Let me tell ya... Having a Football Game on Christmas Eve was great!! the malls were like a normal Saturday Morning/Afternoon! So we looked at a saw set for my dad then walked through the mall.. went to the Treasure Moments or whatever that place is.. and my mom got a lighter engraved for my dad.. but we had to wait like an hour for it to be done.. so we went back to Sears and got the Saw set then walked around the mall.. and talked and stuff and then we went back and got the lighter.. then we went to Giant Eagle in West View and Holy Fuck! where they busy...i basically stood in one place til she got everything she needed.. and then we got in line and left.. Came home.. I got ready for the party and we were on our way.. It was a pretty good time.. and being in the old house.. wasn't as great as i expected.. it was sooo small.. haha.. i don't ever remember it being so small.. but i figured it was because I was small when i was there last.. but then all of my aunts and uncles were saying it was small too.. cause THEY grew up in the house too.. so i guess it shrunk over the years.. haha... but it was a good time.. We (my mom and I) got a CD from my cousin Tracy..of her doing a play.. called Delaware.. it's cool i was just listening to it actually.. but she's not really in it much..so yeah.. but The party was a good time.. and i'm glad that it was all civil..no fights were had!! Came home.. and then Ed came over.. and we exchanged gifts.. i knew what i was getting.. but he had no idea.. so it was great to see that he really liked the Jimminy Glick goes to Lalawood dvd i got him!! yay.. so i brought down gifts and stuff and then it was bed time soon after Got up at 9 AM for once.. and we opened gifts.. my dad got me and my mom something.. and neither one knew about the gifts.. so we opened them at the same time.. turns out he got us portable DVD players!! How Awesome is that!! i was excited cause i knew what my other gifts were.. so i was very happy to see that.. then I opened my gifts and i got Alias season 4, The Wizard of Oz 2 Disc Special Edition.. and Fantastic Four all on DVD.. then i opened the other box and it was a shirt that i'll never wear.. haha but every year now i get 1 or more shirts cause my dad picks them out and i have to say.. Yeah this is great.. and then put it in my closet and hope he forgets all about it haha... then my mom gave me my stocking and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was in there.. and i got some socks and pringles and pretzels and slim jims.... so yeah.. pretty good .. then they opened their gifts.. i went upstairs and watched Fantastic Four then got a shower.. then came down cause Melinda Rob and Cory were here... i gave cory the Superman Cape and he enjoyed it.. then we got our gifts from them.. and I open mine.. and it was a Pitt Hoodie and TShirt.. haha.. i was like "Do you know what school i go to?" and they realized they got me Pitt stuff.. haha. they didn't even mean to.. and i thought they did.. so that was funny.. then they left and we had dinner then my brother came down.. and he got me a Hoodie.. and we spent some time together and stuff..then he had to go to work.. from 11pm- like 7 am or something like that...cause he's a cop..so yeah.. pretty good Christmas... The week wasn't too bad.. i don't really remember doing too much... I know I hung out with Ed and Kristi some...and went to Val's one night for movies.. Grim was there too.. we watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Fantastic Four and ordered Pizza... Val and I went to EnP one day.. i think wednesday.. then after that i went to ed's from like 7 til 11 or something.. and then thursday i was supposed to go Bowling with the Crew.. but that got cancelled. so i sat at home and did nothing.. then friday i went over eds in the afternoon.. and we got brittany and hung out at his house.. and had fun.. then we dropped her off and got Kristi and went bowling.. had some fun.. then everything went to hell.. Ed got all pissed off about something.. and wouldn't talk about it or say much of anything.. so he pissed me off.. and after like 5 or 6 games of bowling he was like.. "now what?" so i listed the possibilities and he was like "well whoever wants to bowl go ahead" and then i was like "what the hell is your problem" and told him to just let it go.. and he all he had to say was "it was a long story" so i kicked the bowling shoes off and put my shoes on.. returned the bowling balls and my shoes.. and then they did.. and we left.. oh and i saw the Sheers before we bowled out there.. had a nice conversation with Jes.... so at the end of the night.. we drove home in silence.. .. he dropped kristi then me off.. and then it was new years eve the next day.... But before that.. i started talking to this kid.. his name is Shane and he goes to school at Pitt here in the burgh.. and we talked a good bit.. and we talked.. most of thursday night... going into friday morning.. for like 5 hours.. then we talked friday night into saturday morning after bowling until 7am..which was like 4 hours.. we made plans to hang out.. which is weird.. cause i never do that.. .. i never met the kid before in my life.. and i talked to him online a couple times and we made plans to meet.. so yeah..new years eve.. i was still pissed at Ed.. so i wasn't in the mood to do anything.. so I didn't go to the anticipated New Years Eve Party at Jens.... and instead just hung around the house and watched the ball drop with my mom and dad.. and then New Years day.. i sat around all day.. Today.. I went out with Shane.. Met him out at the Waterfront.. Yes.. i went to the waterfront all by myself.. using Port Authority.. I know.. I'm just as amazed as u all... I was nervous about doing the whole bus thing.. let alone meeting a stranger.. but it was cool.. met him out there.. and we went and ate at Quiznos.. and then we went to Target.. to kill an hour.. and then to Barnes and Noble to continue killing that hour.. then we went back to Loews.. and got our tickets for King Kong!.. 3 hour movie.. and HOLY FREAKING Crap.. i have to say.. worlds greatest movie! I loved it.. I was so amazed with it.. it had everything.. Drama, Comedy, .. everything. lol.. it made me cry, and laugh and cheer and squirm in my seat!... it was just amazing.. Loved every minute of it.. and that's amazing considering that Kong doesn't make his Debut until an hour into the flick.. .. but oh so good.. I loved it and wouldn't mind seeing it again.. and I will totally be purchasing it when it comes out on DVD... so yes.. managed to get out to the waterfront with no troubles and i managed to get back from there with the same about of troubles... none.. and i'm very happy about that.. and i made a new friend.. and yeah.. good times.... so i came home and took the garbage out and have pretty much been online since... now i just have to find out what i'm doing the rest of the time i'm home..... I know that we..(me, mike, and ed) have to get together sometime.. and i'd like to try to do something with Val again.. another movie night or something.. and yeah.. .. oh i'm supposed to go out with the kuhn's crew.. to the Golden Corale or something like that on Saturday... but i'm not feeling it.. it's just not the same.. I'm not a Kuhn's krew member anymore.. and it feels like it too... like.. it's alway great to see them and everything when i go into the store.. but... idk.. something just doesn't feel the same.... oh.. AND.. I give up on all searches and tryings... for THAT person... They will find me when the time is right.. no more me sticking my neck out.. i'm done chasing after shattered dreams and past memories.. to quote a very good song.. "I kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I tried so hard" and "Things aren't Things aren’t the way they were before You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore Not that you knew me back then But it all comes back to me" So yeah.. I go back to school This Sunday Coming up.. and I think.. it begins a new era.. or maybe it is the ending of this era.. and Fall 06 will begin the new era.. A New School, New Friends, New Life.. all in all.. a New Me.. "There’s only one thing you should know I tried so hard And got so far But in the end It doesn’t even matter I had to fall To lose it all But in the end It doesn’t even matter" |
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content| Christmas Christmas Time is Here.... | ||||
| 12:24am 22/12/2005 | ||||
Now anywho.. Break has been pretty damn good so far... Friday I came home.. my mom came up by herself to get me in the snow.. which rocked!! I got home and went straight to Ed's to hang out with him and Kristi! we had a good time.. played some Uno and just had fun.. went to McDonalds and ate and that was that.. the next day.. I went to EnP with Val.. we had a good walk there and back..went to Blockbuster and she rented Madagascar and Kingdom of Heaven.. Madagascar was such a cute movie!! In fact i may have to purchase it.. i didn't want to see it at first.. but i'm glad that we watched it.. Then i came home.. the next day.. i went out with my Cousin Amanda.. it was supposed to be to finish Christmas shopping.. but i had no money.. however, i took my computer to Best Buy to get it fixed... and then we went to GameStop to sell my broken Xbox!.. yay for that i got 22 dollars for that.. then we went around looking for a photo printer for her mom for xmas.. we found the one she was going to get.. but Best didn't have it... anywhere.. they checked and it wasn't at any of their stores or in their warehouse!! amazing... so we ended up going to ENP on mcknight to eat and my mom and dad came in so we talked to them for a little then ate.. then she dropped me off here at home.. the past couple nights i've been staying up til 3 or 4 AM and not getting out of bed until 2pm.. it's been great.. today i went to Ed's and we watched some tv.. and then he went to get food with his dad for me him and kristi.. but that turned out disastrous... so he came back and went himself.. Kristi and i just watched Home Improvent and then some of Millionaire before he got back..we ate watched the rest ofmillionaire and then went up to the Highschool for the Chorus Concert.. cause ed's sis was in it.... so during the little intermission thing.. I met up with some people from the past.. and.. and.. OH MY.. I got to see Marlee!! It was soo great... i haven't seen here.. probably since we graduated.. and the hug i got.. Felt.. Soooooooo good.. it was probably the best hugs i've ever gotten.. and i'm sorry.. cause i know it's such an old thing that i should be over.. but i think .. that no matter what.. even tho i chickened out in Highschool when i had the chance.. and didn't ask her out and even tho she is still together with Eb.. and even tho they 'love' each other.. and i will someday find a girl (whom i may already know who it may be.. but i'm still working on it.. I've liked her for a couple years. now.. but i think finally things may come together.. even tho she told me to go for another girl.. i can't.. it's impossible.. and i'm sure you know who you are right now.. ;) ) that I will love and cherish for the rest of my life.. I will Always Love Marlee.. there is just something there that makes me Love her soo much.. I will always hold her in my heart.. and i know that's not a good thing to admit or say.. but it's true.. .it's soo true.. So anyway.. then ed and kristi and i went to ENP.. ed and i got Hot CHocolate.. really good too i might add... and i got ice cream and water.. and so did he... and Kristi got one of them coffee milkshake things and cheese cake... and we played Uno... then we went back to ed's played.. You don't know Jack and then that was it.. i came home and now i'm here.... Tomorrow i may be going back to ed's to hang out and then we are going to the mall on friday.. i got paid today so i can finish my Christmas shopping too.. i need to get ed something, and my grandma, and my aunt... so.. from there we'll see what happens.. and then saturday is christmas eve.. where i will spend the evening with my family.. it'll be great to be all together in the old house!!! So yeah.. that's christmas plans.. and next week i don't know what i'm doing all week.. but then for new years eve i'm going to jen's for a party.. that should be great... i'm looking forward to it.. and um.. yeah.. that's my story and i'm sticking to it.. Mele Kalikimaka ~Stitch~ |
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bouncy| need to ramble.. and i don't know about what.. | ||||
| 11:50pm 14/12/2005 | ||||
I Hope that i don't get a replacement roommate.. because as much as i hate being alone.. i don't wanna have to worry about getting to know someone else right now.. unless of course he's cool right off the bat.. haha..and if he can talk to my psychically then that would be super!. cause then i would feel like i knew him already cause he could just tell me his life story super quick like a flash of memories in my head.. how sweet would that be!? I packed up some of my shit yesterday... i'm keeping 35 DVDs here for next semester.. at least that's the number that i haven't packed yet.. i'm not worrying about movies.. esp considering the fact that i don't have an xbox anymore.. well.. i have the shell of the xbox anyway.. for those of you who don't know.. my xbox has died.. it stopped working sometime last week.. i was quite upset about this too.. but i sold my games and controllers on sunday... only got like 55 bucks for everything which is highly disappointing.. i could have got more if i took the store credit.. but i wanted cash.. so i got shafted for 20%.. fuckers I've been having this weird feeling as of late.. i've been missing my Old OLD friends.. from back before i knew all of you.. back before i came to bellevue back from the northside.. but i don't know how to contact them or anything like that.. I miss them all so much.. it's soo weird how i think about them out of the blue.. and i haven't talked to them in .. God!!.. ages.. probably 14 or 15 years ago.. but i miss them.. we were a good group of friends.. and i don't know why i miss them so much.. it's not like i've seen them lately.. or heard from a single one of them.. i just... miss them.. totally out of the blue.. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I miss being a kid.. and that i miss living on the northside.. i miss my Marshall Avenue house.. we are having Christmas Eve there this year..cause my uncle still lives there.. it's going to be so weird to be back in that house.. it's been about 13 years since i've been in there and actually stayed in there for more than 2 minutes.. I can't think of anything else now.. i know there is more.. but i just don't have the words.. so In my closing.. all i have to say is.. I'm so alone.... |
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lonely| JOIN IN THE FUN OF NECROCITY!! | ||||
| 10:38pm 08/12/2005 | ||||
It's a grand design.. Val started up her own Role Playing site thingy-ma-bob.. Join up it should be fun.. or at least check it out to see if you'd like to join!! cause that would be superb.. we need more peeps cause it's more fun with the more people that you have.. so i hope you join!! YAY!! JOE And as for my life.. wel.. i'm down in the dumps tonight.. i want someone to play with in the snow! i want some fun to be had.. i want my roommate to leave and stay away.. i want parties not to happen in or around my apartment.. and i want a new xbox.. in fact i'm going to create a list here.. The List of things that are ticking me off right now...: 1. My Xbox is broken and won't let me play any games or dvds.. nothin. 2. My Computer needs a remodeling or something.. so that it works right. 3. I'm not home right now. 4 I don't have a girlfriend.. I know it's my preference.. or at least it was.. but still.. why does it have to hurt so much? Why do i have to sit here and think constantly about a girl or two and the fun that i could be having with them.. Why do i think of things like this when i know that it wouldn't even be possible to happen right now.. even if i did have a girlfriend... the only girls that i'm interested in are far away from me.. :/ 5. My 'new' cell phone does not let me know when i have a text message now.. i have to check my text message inbox to find out if i have any messages.. that's shit! 6. As gread as it is to have the semester winding down.. i just wish that i would still have my advanced writing class.. i'm going to miss that class it was too much fun! 7. I have a pimple starting to grow on my nose and it is hurting! 8. The plain fact that i want to be left alone, and at the same time i want company.... i don't want people i this place that i don't know! 9. I have practically no Money whatsoever 10.I have nothing to do... That's about it.. life is crappy this moment.. but hey.. it'll look up in a week when i get to go home.. later dayz folks J. |
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exanimate
| 09:59am 07/12/2005 | |||
 Fire. Impulsive. Unlike Air, you do jump before you look. When you have something in mind, you won't let go. You have a strong will, and will do anything to get what you want. From time to time you can forget that other people have feelings too, but at most, you're a happy jumping friend. What is your element? brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Please read and comment on this story of mine.. | ||||
| 05:28pm 04/12/2005 | ||||
It was another busy day at Mario’s, a little Italian restaurant in the middle of Bellnest. Chris was in the middle of an order. He weaved his way through the tables, making sure not to bump any of the customers as they clinked and clanged on their plates and glasses. He looked over the tables and saw the reds and greens that decorated the place. The big picture of Mario, the man that started the restaurant years ago, was staring over the dining room. Chris just smirked at the painting as he worked his way back to the kitchen to put the order in for the table he was just at, table 14 as it was called by the other waiters and cooks. The tables were so close together that Chris had to be careful not to bump into any of the customers or their tables. He never did like the setup of the restaurant, but who was he to tell the boss how the restaurant should be set up. As he cleared the dining room he let out a sigh, happy that he didn’t bump anyone on this trip. A waitress came out from the kitchen just as Chris was making his way to the doors. She had the daily special of chicken parmesan on her tray, along with what looked like a chicken steak sandwich. The smells of these foods reminded Chris that he was hungry, but he had to wait a couple more hours before break. His eyes followed the waitress as she walked passed him and made her way to her table. The waitress had his full attention and he hadn’t noticed that he made his way to the kitchen doors, the ‘in’ door swung the wrong way and it hit him in the face. He stumbled back quickly putting his hand up to his face, but at that moment, he wasn’t concerned with his face. His full attention was on this girl that came out the wrong door. She was cute. Long brown hair, brown eyes to match, she was about 5’5”, and he loved that she wasn’t as skinny as those models that starve themselves, she looked like she loved to eat, but she wasn’t heavy, she right in the middle of the spectrum. She was standing inside the doorway, with the shocked ‘I’m sorry’ look on her face. “I am soo sorry.” She said to Chris with her arm out as if she would help him somehow, though she seemed afraid to touch him. “Yeah it’s alright.” Chris muffled through his hand. His hand was there now because he was hiding the red in his cheeks. He squeezed passed her, and made his way to the computer to put his order in. She stood there for a minute staring at Chris from behind. He was Tall, Dark, Handsome, only he wasn’t, he was more medium, light, and handsome. They were about the same height, which she loved, and he had short blonde hair, and blue eyes, and it looked like he worked out. She continued to stare at Chris while he was putting his order in. The stainless steal everything in kitchen held his reflection and she just wanted to stare at them all day long. “Hey Sydney, that’s the in door. You have to make sure you always exit through the out door. Otherwise you might--” another girl interrupted her thoughts of Chris. “Hurt someone?” Sydney completed the sentence. “Yeah I know. It just kinda happened. Hey who was that just walked in here?” “Who, Chris? He’s not your type.” The other girl pointed to Chris at the computer. “What do you mean he’s not my type?” Sydney frowned, but looked back at Chris and couldn’t help buy smile. “Why would you even know if he’s not my type?” “He’s just a klutz and doesn’t know what he’s doing half of the time. Too be honest, I don’t think anyone around here likes him much. Now come on, we have a lot to get through your first day on the job.” With that the girl walked out into the dining room, going out the ‘in’ door. Sydney stood there for another moment. He couldn’t possibly be that bad. Just then Chris turned away from the computer and started walking towards Sydney. He gave her a small smile, and she responded with one of her own. Chris turned down a little hallway going thru the rest of the kitchen. Sydney continued standing there. She could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks and she knew they were a bright red. At least I’ll match the décor in the dining room. “Hey Chris can you pick up your little brother from practice in an hour,” Chris’s mom asked from the kitchen. Chris just made it to the bottom of the stares. He walked down the tiny hallway and peeked into the kitchen. “Sorry mom, I can’t. I’m meeting Sydney and a few friends in a about a half an hour. Remember?” Chris looked down and saw his shoe was untied. He got down and propped himself on one knee and grabbed his shoe laces. “You sure have been seeing a lot of this Sydney girl.” Chris’s mom said as she carried a pot from the sink to the stove. “What’s going on between you two?” Chris looked up from his shoe. “It’s not like that mom. She’s just fun to hang out with, is all. We’ve done a lot together.” He put his attention back onto his shoe. “Whatever you say Chris.” She kept her back to him as she started making dinner. “So I take it you won’t be home for dinner then?” “Nope. What are you having?” “Your favorite, cod with broccoli and cheese,” she teased. He just pretended to fake vomit as he stood up from tying his shoe. “That doesn’t even sound the least bit good. You can keep it.” She laughed at him. “We are having sausage and pierogies. But there won’t be enough for me to save you some.” “That sounds much better, but it’s ok. We’re going to Eat N Park sometime tonight.” He walked over and gave his mom a kiss on the head. “I’ll be back late, so I’ll see you tomorrow sometime. Love ya” “I love you too. Be careful out there.” “What are you thinking Syd?” The voice came from beside her in the car. “You’ve been silent since I picked you up. Just staring off into space.” Sydney took turned her head towards her best friend, “I don’t know Francie.” She turned her head back towards the window as she watched the small houses and big trees appear and vanish in front of her, as the car moved forward. “I just keep thinking about Chris.” “Syd, if you like him so much why don’t you just tell him?” “It doesn’t work like that. I don’t even think he likes me.” Sydney was still staring out the window, but now it was as if she was seeing nothing. She was staring beyond what was really there. “He wouldn’t be hanging out with us if he didn’t like you. He’s a cool guy. Just tell him already or I’ll do it for you.” “You can’t!” Sydney turned her head almost instantly after she heard Francie’s words. “Promise me that you won’t say anything to him!” “Jeez Syd, calm down. I was just kidding.” “Promise me please!?” Sydney stared at Francie waiting for another word. A promise, that she wouldn’t say anything to Chris. “Ok Syd, I promise.” Sydney relaxed after hearing this, just in time as the pulled up in front of Chris’s house. Sydney just stared at Chris as he came out of the house and walked down the path to the car. She smiled and he must have noticed because he smiled and waved at her. He opened the back passenger door and got in. “Hey girls, how’s it going?” “Hi Chris, we just gotta go get Will and we’ll be ready to have some fun,” Francie replied to him. “Hi Chris,” Sydney said shyly, not turning around in her seat. They’ve all been to this restaurant before. They come here all the time when they hang out. Eat N Park. They’ve been known to spend several hours here just talking and laughing and carrying on. They already had a table and were finished eating; now they were just enjoying each others company. “Hey Chris. Excuse me a minute I gotta go to the bathroom.” Will said moving closer to Chris. “Oh sure” Chris moved out of the booth. He always liked booths better than the chairs that they had at Mario’s. Even though you have to let people out to go to the bathroom or wherever they may be going, he still liked them better. “I gotta go too.” Sydney said. She was luckily on the outside of the booth so was able to get up without having to hassle some one to move. “You know, Sydney really likes you.” Francie said practically out of nowhere. “It’s all she ever talks about when her and I do stuff.” Chris was stunned when he heard this out of Francie. “I like her too.” Chris said more to himself than to Francie. “Huh?” She asked because she didn’t hear his reply “Do you like her?” “Yeah, I like her. But I just don’t know if I like her like that. We’ve only really known each other for a couple weeks now.” Chris started to fumble around with his fork. Feeling how pointy the ends where on his fingers and then the palm of him hand. He started looking around the restaurant they were in to see if Sydney or Will were on their way back from the bathroom yet. “I guess I just want to get to know her first…” Chris hasn’t been in many relationships in his life, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be in one just yet. I can’t go out with Sydney; I don’t even know what we would do. Can I kiss? Do I even know how? He noticed Francie had just taken a sip of her water and was putting the glass back on the table. “Yeah I understand that, but she really does like you.” Chris’s face was starting to turn red. He was embarrassing himself, in his own mind. He had no idea how to get out of this one. He did like Sydney, but just not like that, not in the sense of actually liking her. They were friends. He wanted to get to know this or any girl before he dove off of the cliff known as relationship. He wanted to have the safety precautions there for him, the parachute, the second parachute, and if all else failed he wanted to have the ocean underneath him, so that when he couldn’t stop falling he would fall, splash, into the water and be unhurt from the relationship. She probably thinks I’m really uncomfortable right now, which I am, since I haven’t said anything, in what seems like forever. Finally he let some words out. “Maybe in some time, right now, I’m just not sure I’m ready for a relationship.” As he finished the words, Sydney made her way back to the table. Francie and Chris both got quiet. Francie broke the silence quickly with, “Hey Syd. Chris and I were just discussing what we wanted to do now. Any Ideas?” Will came up from behind Sydney. “You guys ready?” “Hello, my name is Sydney and I’ll be your waitress today.” Sydney stopped for a second when she saw Chris come out of the kitchen. “Can I get you some drinks to start off?” “Pepsi.” “Mountain Dew.” “Water, no lemon please.” “Water, lemon is fine.” Sydney didn’t bother taking down the drinks, she knew what they wanted. She had a pretty good memory when it came to her job. “I’ll be right back with your drinks.” She decided to take the long way back to the kitchen when she saw that Chris was on the other side of the restaurant. Sydney had pretty much given up on Chris. She figured he was a lost cause, but they were still friends. “Hey Chris, we still on for next week?” Chris was cleaning off one of his tables. She saw him pick up the tip from the table and stick it in his pocket before he turned around. “Yeah. Bowling with Will and Francie, right?” “Yeah” She smiled at him. “I gotta go get some drinks. I’ll talk to you in a bit.” “Ok” Sydney turned away from Chris and made her way to the kitchen for her drinks. “Excuse me?! Waiter!” an irritated customer called for Chris’ attention. Chris heard the voice but didn’t check to see where it came from. He was lost in thought. Sydney was with a table across the dining room taking their order. Chris had stopped what he was doing and was just staring at Sydney’s face. Every time someone would tell her what they wanted she would pensively write down their order and smile. She got along well with everyone, but she was having a really good time at this table. She started to make jokes; at least from where Chris stood that’s what it looked like. She would say something and the entire table would roar with laughter. He noticed that she was looking back at him now. He snapped out of his blank stare and lifted his arm up some and waved a tiny wave. She grinned at him, finished the order, and stuck her order pad into her back pocket. He knew what he had to do. “Excuse me?!” the impatient customer exclaimed again. “Huh? Oh Sorry. What did you say you wanted again?” Chris asked pulling out his order pad. “My food. We ordered over a half hour ago!” “Oh… Oh! Sorry. I’ll be right back with your food.” Chris pushed his order pad into his back pocket and rushed off to the kitchen. Sydney was having a small bowl of applesauce on her break. It’s one of her favorite foods. She was sitting in a far corner of the restaurant at a small table for two. Chris walked over to the table and sat across from her. “Hey Chris.” “Hi Sydney, how’s the applesauce?” “It’s good. It’s one of my favorite things to eat.” She got another spoonful of it and put it in her mouth. “So I’ve been thinking...” he trailed off. Sydney looked up from her bowl and looked at Chris’s face. She saw that it was slowly turned red. He was fidgeting in his seat. She couldn’t help but start to like him again in that moment. She loved how shy he was. It wasn’t that he was really that shy, he was just really nervous, and the way he held his nervousness made him look so cute. “About what?” “You. Ever since we first met.” She laughed, “How could you ever forget me hitting you in the face with the door?” She could feel the heat rushing to her face, and she sensed that her cheeks were as red as Chris’s. “We’ve known each other for about… what two months or so now? And I have to say that for the past month, all I’ve been able to do is think about asking you out.” Sydney noticed that he had his head down but she could see that his eyes were trying to see her face. She just smiled at him. “I…I’ve liked you ever since that moment.” “Really?” He lifted his head and smiled back at her. “Yeah.” “I have been fighting with myself about whether I should ask you out or not. I was so scared to even come over here and start this conversation. I felt that I was taking too long, and that I would lose the chance if I waited much longer. So…. Um… would you like to go to the movies on Friday?” “Sure that would be great. I work till 6, but anytime after that would be great.” “Ok. Then I’ll pick you up at 8?” “Sounds good.” Chris got up and walked away from the table. Sydney could feel her heart beating in her chest. She was so excited that Chris liked her too. She couldn’t wait until Friday! She was finally going to get the date with the guy she liked! |
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accomplished| Break is gone and so will I... | ||||
| 08:04pm 27/11/2005 | ||||
This break was ok.. but i still say it could have been better..Let's go back to last friday and recap everything... The train took forever..i finally got home.. went to EnP with Val and we had some fun..then saturday i hung out some with Ed.. we had some fun..nothing new there we almost always have fun.. then sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday.. i hung out around the house.. put up the front porch decorations.. which are sorta falling down right now.. and i forgot to put them back up today..... Thursday i went to ed's for like 2 hours then we had steak for dinner.. with baked potatoes and corn.. by far one of the best meals i've ever had!! soo good.. then we went to my aunts for dessert.. i got to see baby Thomas.. he's fucking adorable!!!! I had so much fun just hanging out with him.. then friday I went out to EnP with Val again.. and then we went to Blockbuster and got Alien Vs. Predator and Devil's Rejects.. they were both pretty good.. We invited jes to do something and grim but when the time came Grim was with her mom and Jes didn't want to do anything.. so just val and i.. . so then saturday my mom and i went back to my aunts and hung out with the family.. and i got to see Thomas Again.. man i love that kid haha.. also we got to meet my Couin Christy's Girlfriend and her son.. which was cool. Then i came home and hoped to hang out with ed.. but him and kristi "just got home from the mall" and "had to finish her homework" so i got pushed off like i was nothing.. We fucking planned us hanging out on saturday like a week ago.. and he goes and doesn't have me come over til fucking 8pm and i can only go over until 10.30.. .. and i've said it before, but i'll say it again.. I'm glad he's fucking got kristi that's just fantastic..and i understand that they should be able to hang out whenever..but give me a fucking break.. put me on hold because the girl wants u to do her fucking homework for her.. It's ridiculous.. i told him that we were going to get together and play video games and everything because we haven't in forever because that's what HE wanted to do.. and he fucking blows me off... wtf!!!!?? can someone tell me why? Ok.. so i went to my aunt's house for a couple of hours.. fine.. fine.. but i got back at around 5 and so did they from the mall.. plus the fact that he hung out with kristi thursday night.. all day friday.. and saturday all day.. so what's wrong with just saying.. "i'm going to hang out with joe now so i'll see you tomorrow before i work and you go back to school.. i love you bye"???????????? whatever.. he just really pissed me off.. and then i get over there and Kristi is still there.. i mean i have no problem hanging out with the two of them..but i wasn't expecting her to be there.. so we sat there in silence for a couple of minutes.. and then we ate some stuff and then we went back to his room and played Millionaire and that was it for the evening.. but whatever.. today i got up early and went to the mall with him to get a mess fixed and then he dropped me off and i did nothing all day.. fixed up my story some and got some food and just watched tv basically all day long.. so yeah that's the break.. i go back in the morning and I may not have internet when i get back.. cause my computer is being a douche! and it has no network connections right now.. so it may not connect back at school..so if you don't hear from me for a while.. send me a letter or something.. Joe Bruder 2708 Wehnwood Rd Apartment 27 Altoona PA 16601.. that would be cool! =D if not then i'll see ya all around sometime.. later dayz Joe |
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